Saturday, January 10, 2009

There's a Sucker Born Every Minute

I admit it. I am a sucker for TV infomercials. I remember being in sixth grade and seeing this infomercial for this product called the Mr. Mixer. According to the host - the butler guy from Mr. Belvedere - the Mr. Mixer can whip regular old skim milk into frothy whipped desserts. Truly a fat little girl's dream. I wanted this Mr. Mixer and I wanted it badly. However many times I watched the infomercial and asked my mom if I could get one, no one really understood my deep desire to have one until my grandmother got me one when I turned 17. I pulled it out and got ready to whip my skim milk into a frothy whipped dessert when I realized that not only was it a knock off, but it actually added this particular disclaimer into the instruction manual: Does not turn skim milk into frothy whipped desserts. I kid you not.

Since then, I have been enamored with infomercials - the Caruso Molecular Hair Setter - a marvelous set of steam curlers that I wanted but never got, the Jet Aire Hair System - this great gadget that would dry and curl your hair all in one step that I wanted and my cousin got for Christmas one year, and all of those Time Life collections of digitally remastered classic oldies - to this day I will still tune in to listen to ten second snippets of my favorite oldies. Rob and I did come close to buying the Jack Lalanne Power Juicer one year, until we realized that it would cost way more to make the juice than to buy a thing of juice when we wanted it. Plus I realized that with the exception of orange juice for breakfast, I'm just not a juice fan.

I confess, I did buy the FIRM workout videos after Caleb was born and I did order the updated set last year. They are pretty awesome, although when they appeared in Target I did wish that I had waited to get them there and not paid the high shipping costs.

Last night Chloe was up several times, which meant I was up several times. We finally ended up on the couch at 5:00 this morning and I was in no mood to be up. So I turned on the TV and found this great infomercial for P90X - "Our Most Extreme Home Fitness Training System Ever...Get Absolutely Ripped in 90 Days..."

At first I thought of Rob and that he might want enjoy the workout. But the longer I watched it, the more I wanted to get absolutely ripped in 90 days. I'm actually considering getting it - if I could have any guarantee that I could have an uninterrupted hour to exercise.

This morning we babysat two of our neighbor's kids who are Camille and Chloe's ages. After they played for several hours I turned on the TV and let them watch cartoons. Before I knew it, this infomercial came on for this:

All three big kids said at the same time, "I want one of those!" I asked Caleb what he would do with it and he looked at me like I was crazy. "I'd put it on the door so no cold air comes in and makes our house cold." Duh. Then Camille pipes up, "We can even use it with the windows." Fortunately we do not have drafts coming in our door or our windows so this is one product we do not need.

Late in the afternoon Caleb turned the tv back on and was flipping through the channels, going between sporting events. I was in the kitchen fixing dinner when he ran in and exclaimed, "Mom! They have this great big bathtub that you can stand up in and exercise in and it will even give you a massage! Can we get one?" Have you seen that infomercial? It's that big whirlpool sauna thing. I can't remember what it's called. But we're not getting one.

I called the kids in for dinner a few minutes later only to find both kids perched on the edge of their seats engrossed in another infomercial. Camille was the one to ask for this one. "Mommy, can we get a snuggie? It's a blanket with arms so I won't get cold."

"Sorry dear," I said as I tossed her a blanket. "We already have lots of blankets."

"But Mom! This one has sleeves!"

So my initial thought is to get the kids tv products for Christmas this year. They really like them.

Maybe Caleb will get this:

Everything you need to start to start having fun!

The amazing Reflex Helicopter is the most advanced, most controllable, fully functional helicopter in its class.

Powerful enough to fly in the sky, controllable enough to fly in the house and small enough to land in the palm of your hand. Twin drive props provide directional control while the dual rotors lend stability. Included is one set of spare rotors and battery.

Or this:

It was fun in the 1950s and it is fun today.

I'm thinking this for Camille:

Girls will love the Girl Crush Jewelry Maker!

It is tons of fun and easy to use. Create cool necklaces, rings, bracelets and much more the possibilities are limitless.

The bright colored metallic foils, colorful gems and assorted foam shapes in this set make it easy to create cool jewelry designs.
Or this:

The Rub N Color El Grande - Doodle with a noodle, draw with a straw, create a snail with your fingernail, make a border with a quarter!

With Rub N Color the magic is in the paper! No messy markers to dry out. No messy coatings to scratch, scrape or flake off. The magic invisible ink reveals color when you rub it!

Rub it with just about anything!

For Chloe, maybe this.

Or this:

Your child will love the Luna Talking Pillow - not only is it cute, soft, huggable, comfortable and very squeezable it will tell a story, play soothing lullabies or offer comforting words from Mom, Dad, Grandma or Grandpa!

Rob definitely needs this:

As the saying goes, "Looks are deceiving".

Who would ever guess this compact Carbide Edge Pocket Saw could cut through almost

Its heavy duty carbon steel blade with tungsten carbide saws through steel, iron,
aluminum, brick, ceramic tile, wood, glass and more!

The Pocket Saw features a rust resistant ABS handle with comfort grip and 6" fold away blade that never, ever has to be sharpened!

How great would this be?

It Mows. You Don't!

RoboMower is the ultimate in mowing convenience. It is a fully automatic lawnmower designed to mow your lawn completely by itself. It's so easy! A simple one time set-up is required then set the weekly program and forget about mowing for the rest of the season! What could be easier? Designed for domestic lawns it can handle any yard that a traditional gas or RoboMowerelectric walk mower can handle, irrespective of the shapes and slopes of the yard, obstacles and type of lawn. Exclusive safety features - sensor equipped bumpers, mower lift detection and child lock and automatic mowing help make RoboMower the safest way to mow your lawn. And oh the convenience of it! Think of the free time you'll have!

Definitely worth $1,799.95. Free shipping too!

Wonder who I can give this to this year?

Shocking Autopsy is the fun, shocking operating game where you retrieve various weapons ranging from axes, and anvils embedded into the cadaver of a murdered thug!

I like to do my Christmas shopping early, but I think maybe this year I'll wait. There's no telling what great things I'll see on infomercials this summer and fall!


Kathi said...

You had too much time on your hands to look these all up!

Morgan and Emily said...

My sister did P90X - it totally worked! Thank goodness you said no to the snuggle - I say if you want a blanket with arms - get a house robe!

Aubrey said...

Hilarious! Helen wants me to order 5 'snuggies' - one for each member of the family plus one for the dog... I hate when they run those commercials during one of her favorite shows.

O'Babies said...

I have been wanting that twin draft dodger for a long time now! Your kids have good taste :)

Kristin said...

hilarious! I have the older version of P90X - just plain old Power 90, but it works great. And I totally want a snuggie, I just can't decide if I want the royal blue or the sage green...

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